The last time I prayed was back in October.
I don’t know what compelled me to pray tonight.
I was so overwhelmed by the motions of prayer that every time my forehead would touch the ground my tears would spill onto the prayer rug.
I told God that I don’t deserve his forgiveness, his patience or his love and I can only hope that this prayer will be accepted.
I feel lightheaded.
I constantly remind myself of a time where I truly embraced solitude.
I reminisce about a specific time last year in my old dorm where I would lay in bed watching Netflix. I didn’t have a heavy heart. No anxieties were present. I could revel in that comfort if I had it now.
Stagnancy does not allow for personal growth so I need to learn to appreciate change.
I am coming to terms with the ever changing situations in my life. I can’t resist them. Resisting them is what causes my anxiety.
I need to learn to find comfort in the chaos.
I need to understand that the people that I gave my unwavering trust and commitment to are not going to use it against me.
Being vulnerable is not a terrible thing.
I am learning.