i have so much work to do and so much to catch up on but I just can’t bring myself to do it. 

I just want to take these sleeping pills and rest for a while. 

Even though I was averse to the idea of taking medication to help with my dissociation, I am beginning to re-evaluate my reasons why. 

I don’t know. My dissociation keeps getting worse & sometimes i’m afraid to fall in too deep a sleep because I am unable to differentiate between what is/isn’t real. When I wake up i’m not entirely sure if I really am “awake”. 

I swear, this all feels so weird and fake at the same time. 

Godfrey Gao for GQ Taiwan April 2013

(Source: asiaphiles, via endegame)

Timestamp: 1396300629

Godfrey Gao for GQ Taiwan April 2013

(Source: asiaphiles, via endegame)

plasterandlath:

Dancing School in Harlem. Sol Prom, 1938.

(via unimpressed2chainz)

Timestamp: 1395606306

plasterandlath:

Dancing School in Harlem. Sol Prom, 1938.

(via unimpressed2chainz)

Getting super defensive again. 

It’s a coping mechanism for me. 

Gotta deal with my anxiety by being crass and bitter about the truth.

Basically training myself to be callous.  

this entire spring break has been a cute little blur. 

I was so preoccupied that I didn’t mind that I was dissociating the entire time. 

I want to go back to RVA so i can sit inside Lift and read. 

aloofshahbanou:

I’m just an animal looking for a home
And share the same space for a minute or two
And you love me ‘til my heart stops
Love me ‘til I’m dead

natashandlovu:

Natasha Ndlovu wearing Self Portrait Studio dress

(via uglygirlsclub)

Timestamp: 1394469258

natashandlovu:

Natasha Ndlovu wearing Self Portrait Studio dress

(via uglygirlsclub)

cewekjudes:
french fries are truly my weakness ;___; i'm glad to know someone out there understands too

I understand your starchy plight. 

These cravings hit me and it’s like damn I NEED POTATOES 

The last time I prayed was back in October. 

I don’t know what compelled me to pray tonight. 

I was so overwhelmed by the motions of prayer that every time my forehead would touch the ground my tears would spill onto the prayer rug. 

I told God that I don’t deserve his forgiveness, his patience or his love and I can only hope that this prayer will be accepted. 

I feel lightheaded. 

searchofjazz:

"Sara Mirza on FIlm"

-Justin C Photo

Timestamp: 1393981144

searchofjazz:

"Sara Mirza on FIlm"

-Justin C Photo

I constantly remind myself of a time where I truly embraced solitude. 

I reminisce about a specific time last year in my old dorm where I would lay in bed watching Netflix. I didn’t have a heavy heart. No anxieties were present. I could revel in that comfort if I had it now. 

Stagnancy does not allow for personal growth so I need to learn to appreciate change. 

 I am coming to terms with the ever changing situations in my life. I can’t resist them. Resisting them is what causes my anxiety. 

I need to learn to find comfort in the chaos. 

I need to understand that the people that I gave my unwavering trust and commitment to are not going to use it against me. 

Being vulnerable is not a terrible thing. 

I am learning.