i have so much work to do and so much to catch up on but I just can’t bring myself to do it.
I just want to take these sleeping pills and rest for a while.
Even though I was averse to the idea of taking medication to help with my dissociation, I am beginning to re-evaluate my reasons why.
I don’t know. My dissociation keeps getting worse & sometimes i’m afraid to fall in too deep a sleep because I am unable to differentiate between what is/isn’t real. When I wake up i’m not entirely sure if I really am “awake”.
I swear, this all feels so weird and fake at the same time.
Getting super defensive again.
It’s a coping mechanism for me.
Gotta deal with my anxiety by being crass and bitter about the truth.
Basically training myself to be callous.
this entire spring break has been a cute little blur.
I was so preoccupied that I didn’t mind that I was dissociating the entire time.
I want to go back to RVA so i can sit inside Lift and read.
french fries are truly my weakness ;___; i'm glad to know someone out there understands too
I understand your starchy plight.
These cravings hit me and it’s like damn I NEED POTATOES
The last time I prayed was back in October.
I don’t know what compelled me to pray tonight.
I was so overwhelmed by the motions of prayer that every time my forehead would touch the ground my tears would spill onto the prayer rug.
I told God that I don’t deserve his forgiveness, his patience or his love and I can only hope that this prayer will be accepted.
I feel lightheaded.
I constantly remind myself of a time where I truly embraced solitude.
I reminisce about a specific time last year in my old dorm where I would lay in bed watching Netflix. I didn’t have a heavy heart. No anxieties were present. I could revel in that comfort if I had it now.
Stagnancy does not allow for personal growth so I need to learn to appreciate change.
I am coming to terms with the ever changing situations in my life. I can’t resist them. Resisting them is what causes my anxiety.
I need to learn to find comfort in the chaos.
I need to understand that the people that I gave my unwavering trust and commitment to are not going to use it against me.
Being vulnerable is not a terrible thing.
I am learning.